March 21, 2021

That’s the date we diligently chose to get married on. However, a year after booking our venue, today is just another normal Sunday. Tim is out fishing. The kids are playing Fortnite, and I am on the computer working.

How did we get here?

Well that’s a loaded question when it comes to Tim (my fiancé) and me.

Back in 2003, I was the store manager at Pacific Sunwear (yeah, I was there before the name change to PacSun). I arrived to work in the morning ready to train my new assistant manager. This kid Tim seemed nice enough. He was tall enough to reach all the shelves and face outs I couldn’t, so that was a plus. I was planning my own wedding at the time and was so focused on that, I definitely didn’t consider Tim as a romantic prospect. I know his 20-year-old self was much more focused on other prospects as well…

However, as we worked together, we constantly picked on each other, laughed hard, and took an obscene amount of cigarette breaks together (I quit forever ago- don’t at me). After his 21st birthday, it just seemed right to start inviting him out to the bar after work.

Day after day, after working together for hours, we would close up and head out for drinks. Our friendship grew and grew. While our friendship was pretty fun, working together was not ideal. We drove each other crazy on that front. So Tim found a job a few stores down. That most likely saved our friendship.

Remember how I said I was planning a wedding? Tim not only attended my first wedding, he MC’d. He was also there for me while I watched that marriage dissolve over several years. I cried on his shoulder. I cried over the phone. I got far too drunk and made bad decisions, with him there to always make sure I was safe and okay.

And then it happened…

I NEVER thought I was Tim’s type at all, so the romantic stuff just never came up. He never hit on me, never gave any indication of interest, AT ALL. In turn, he was kind of off my radar as well. Until one day his friend/roommate said (very casually) that I should definitely give Tim a call to hang out. He then “let it slip” that Tim thought the world of me. THAT was the moment everything changed. Me? He was into ME?! No way… he’s way out of my league. But then I saw him in a whole new light.

So we hung out and Tim proceeded to tell me all about this girl he was crushing on at his work due to her expertise in keg stands.

Yeah, I don’t DO keg stands… eww.

Fast Forward a Year… or so

MySpace.

Yeah, I’m that old. Like I always did, I posted my nightly going out agenda on MySpace. The week’s list included a Third Eye Blind show. I hadn’t spoken to Tim in well over a year, maybe longer. I knew there may be a CHANCE he’d go to the 3EB show, but it was slim. I didn’t reach out to him and didn’t really expect to see him, but he was still in the back of my thoughts.

While I was standing in line, waiting to get in, I heard “Hey Punk”, and immediately I was filled with joy to see him walking up. He wasn’t actually going to the show, just happened to be walking by. Side note, I call bullshit on this and insist he walked by because he knew I’d be there.

And that’s how we rekindled our friendship. But this time, I had a HARDCORE CRUSH. We hung out every once in a while. We still had just as much fun as years before. Everyone has that moment where they have that crush that they just can’t do anything about. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. BUT, I finally professed my undying love for him… it did not go over well.

He was technically still with keg stand girl. He was not available, and definitely not ready to be in life where I was in life.

I moved on. I met my second husband and had two kids. They are the most perfect things ever and I wouldn’t change the course of things at all.

Seven Years

Tim and I did not speak for seven years. My second marriage came to a sudden and horrible end. And the DAY I was told divorce was imminent, I friend requested Tim on Facebook (MySpace had unfortunately dissolved). I expected nothing other than hopes to have my friend back. The one that helped me through my first divorce MAY be around to help me laugh at this lowest point of my life.

Not only did he accept my friend request, it looked like keg stand girl was gone (happy dance)!

It took a month of little messages back and forth, but we finally made plans to grab a drink. I was SO HAPPY to have my friend back!

Fast Forward 5 Years

Tim and I had been living together for a few years. We vacationed to Disney every year with the kids but decide to do our first adult trip for my birthday. We spent the weekend at Food and Wine and Galaxy’s Edge. On my birthday, in front of the Millennium Falcon, he proposed.

We start planning our wedding pretty soon after. As a wedding vendor, I already knew most of what I wanted. We wanted something small, with an open bar, good music, and our closest friends and family.

The 2020 Shit Storm

At the close of 2020, Covid rates were skyrocketing. Our wedding was only 3 moths out and we still weren’t sure how many people we could have. In the past year I had lost my dad, my grandpa, and soon, my brother. The thought of anyone getting sick from our wedding was too much to handle.

We made the hard decision to postpone to 2022 when we would have more control over our wedding day decisions.

Covid has been beyond devastating for the wedding industry, but I’m not making light of how serious it is. This virus takes lives, and having to postpone a wedding is a first-world problem. With that said, I am 100% happy that we chose to push our wedding out a year for the safety of our loved ones.

Am I feeling a little sad today? Obviously. I don’t normally blog about stuff this personal. I love my partner beyond measure. He drives me insane as no other could. But, I can not imagine my life without him in it. He’s my best friend. Like… seriously. Not in a mushy “I loved him” first kind of way. He was legitimately my best friend and then THAT grew to more.

I can’t wait marry Tim next year, April, 3 2022.

NINETEEN years after we first met.

Engagement photos by MacRamos Photography